When you don’t have children and see a child having a tantrum, you may have thought to yourself, “my kid will never do that!” Cut to years later when you have children and a rude awakening hits when you are that parent with that child. The truth is, it is inevitable. It’s perfectly normal behavior (as I’m learning).

I had that rude awakening last week when my sweet little girl had her first REAL toddler tantrum, leaving me in a full-body sweat, mildly traumatized. When we got home, I immediately began researching parenting books as I felt like I needed to arm myself with all the tools that we could possibly find to help my child, and self, through these big feelings. And by research, I mean, I asked my followers for their recommendations. There were thousands of responses – half of which were, “please share responses, I’m in the same boat. SOS!” and the other half were a handful of books that came up over and over again.

These were the top recommendations for parenting books:

1. No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame by Janet Lansbury

2. No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel Siegel

3. The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel Siegel

4. How Toddlers Thrive: What Parents Can Do Today for Children Ages 2-5 to Plant the Seeds of Lifelong Success by Tovah P Klein

5. How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 by Joanna Faber

6. Just Tell Me What to Say: Sensible Tips and Scripts for Perplexed Parents by Betsy Brown Braun

7. Now Say This: The Right Words to Solve Every Parenting Dilemma by Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright

8. The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful, and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old by Harvey Karp

9. The Montessori Toddler: A Parent’s Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being by Simone Davies