It just dawned on me that I never wrote about the adventure deb and i had at Barneys, silly me. As always Deb and I started in handbags, I still do NOT understand the Goyard bags, they are the cheapest looking item since acrylic nails. The Givenchy bags however, yummmmm. Any who, with Debs obsession for shoes we quickly veered into the shoes.

If you have never been to Barneys you must go, the people watching is above par. We had the pleasure of watching a very serious little gold digger try on multiple pairs of ridiculously expensive heels while showing off her somewhat chunky thighs to her extremely older sugar daddy. When she went for the pink patent leather louboutin’s I lost interest. Next it was onto the Donatella wannabee who was covered in fake diamonds, carrying a fake berkin and had a face lifted higher than the gold diggers skirt. I watched her stuff her fat non pedicured foot into a precious pair of christian louboutin size 8’s when she was clearly a 9, it was not easy.

Joey and Amy met us, we went upstairs to Green Grass for a glass of wine. While Seth Green was busy rubbing inbetween the thighs of his girlfriend Joey told us hilarious stories. I merely sold my soul to get their infamous bread and cream cheese. Did you know if you only order drinks they charge you for bread? Kind of ridiculsous, right? For such a lovely store that is awfully cheap and not to mention, tacky. I quickly bitched about how the anorexic models next to us sharing a salad, had a bill a fraction of ours, and a full basket of bread of course untouched. We got the bread…for free.

Post wine we visited the Kate Moss collection where we found wife beaters. OMG wife beaters, so inventive! yawn. We got over the collection as quickly as Simon Cowell’s girlfriend, forget her name, swipped her credit card while buying something or another…even bigger yawn. We carried on while intently people watching. Deb tried on a million and one items while I sat and watched, hanging as she went. I was so proud of myself for not finding a single item to try on while thoroughly disheartened by the selection. Needless to say Deb found a dreamy dvf dress and a piece to wear to her event that was the following Monday. Did I forget to mention that somewhere in all that she also bought a Globe? Yes, a globe, it was for her daddy! 4 hours later and completely exhausted, they have a lot of stairs, we left.

Photo Cred: Cool Hunting, ginamarieentertainment.com, google images and topshop.com