3 Mindsets I’m Leaving Behind

This post was written by BIA contributor Chelsea M. Becker

With another year come and gone, I like to do a ton of self-reflection. And though a lot of this surrounds goals and ways to improve life in 2018, it also involves being mindful of myself internally. Taking all the emotions and experiences of the past year, and specifically, how I handled those things (internally and externally), and reflecting on improvements to be made. Or changing how certain things made me feel and the mindsets that followed. And of course I’ll likely never hit a positive 24/7 mindset no matter what changes I make (I’m human!), but I do see a huge benefit in attempting to leave certain mindsets or energies behind with the last year. If you’re interested in hearing which mindsets I’m not bringing along, keep reading.

“It’ll never happen to me”

If there was one thing we all learned in 2017, it’s that it’s a bizarre (and scary) time to live on this planet. No matter your political or religious choice, I think we can all agree that stuff happened last year that leaves room for endless compassion with others. And though I know I’m a compassionate person, I’ll admit that I was raised in a privileged bubble of feeling safe – and to this day, sometimes feeling like I’m removed from scary, horrible, unfair situations. But this year, I want to do everything in my power to remove myself from that bubble, and to do things that directly impact those who have been affected by negativity.

“I’m SO busy”

I spent 2017 head down in my computer building my business, and though it was exciting and empowering, I’m beyond tired. And I miss my friends. And Netflix.

Instead of spending 12-15 hours on the computer every day, I’m vowing to find ways around the “I’m too busy” statement that’s constantly floating in my head. Because it’s exhausting physically and mentally. Changing this mindset will involve making changes business wise, but it’s one that I’m so excited to shift.

“I’m behind”

I’m 31 and recently married. And my fiancé and I rent and have no kids. Which, in our current culture, is “behind,” and I’ve felt behind for quite some time now, simply because a lot of my friends the same age have homes, babies, and all the things you’re *supposed* to have at my age. Which quite frankly, is BS. And I need to remember that in 2018. Whether we choose to rent forever, have kids or not, or decide to do it tomorrow, it’s time to stop feeling behind because of where I lay my head. I’m happy after all, which is what matters most!

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  1. I can definitely relate to the “it’ll never happen to me” mindset, 2017 sowed a lot of chaos in my life… Honestly, I’m not very busy, but I think I’m used it to the point that I find it difficult to focus when things are busier. My goal in 2018 is to create a schedule and engage my mind more. Brain exercise, yay!
    Nicolette | http://nicolette.co

  2. “It’ll never happen to me” is something that really stroke me last year. As an anxious person who always tries to have control of the situation, 2017 showed me that unexpected things happen and one can’t control everything. So that’s a mindset I’ll definitely try to change this year!

  3. I’m behind really spoke to me! I occasionally feel that was since I’m almost 30, in a long term relationship, renting, and have no kids. He just went back to school at 30, which throws another wrench in societies standards. But when I think about it, we are irrationally happy. We are doing awesome environmental justice work, and focusing on the things and people that don’t matter, and other people’s expectations really have no relevance on my experience.

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