I had been told that going from one to two would be the most difficult leap of them all when expanding our family. So, when Adeline was born, I braced myself. I braced myself for Leo (21 months at the time) to come undone, for my marriage to suffer and for our lives to unravel as we drowned in chaos. But good news; none of it ever came. It has been a surprisingly smooth and blissful expansion.
For me, going from zero to one was much more difficult. It was truly shocking. From getting pregnant to pregnancy to birth, the aftermath of birth, breastfeeding and then the actual raising a child part, there were so many unknowns and uncharted paths. I found the learning curve was tremendous and the number of decisions overwhelming. But come the second child, I had all this under my belt already.
And then there was the identity crisis that came along with the first. Finding my place in the world with my new role was an evolution. In the matter of one push, my identity completely changed. I was now a mother. It was a drastic shift that took time to get used to in every area of my life. Figuring out who I was and how to find my footing with the responsibility of another human, took some soul searching. There were many tears, a lot of self-doubt and confusion on how to move forward with my career, but once I settled in my new role, I came out of it feeling much more myself than I ever had. Confident, secure, content, fulfilled, loved.
So, between overcoming the shock, having made all the early decisions and getting over my identity crisis, welcoming number two has simply been a matter of more work. It’s another mouth to feed, another diaper to change, another person to love, to worry about, to dress, to buckle into the car, to keep my eyes on at all time. I haven’t experienced the same growing pains this time around and our world had already been set up for Adeline, a big sister and a baby-proofed house included.
With that all said, check back in with me when she’s bigger as I may be singing a different tune….