Being a new mom comes with a lot of uncertainty. Never in my life have I been faced with a responsibility this great, with stakes this high, armed only with my intuition, the advice of others and the biggest pile of books I could get my hands on.
The truth is, nothing can really prepare you for motherhood. You have to jump in head first, learn as you go and face your insecurities as they come along, which for me, they do! Here are a few ways I’ve figured out to overcome said insecurities:
1. Your baby is your greatest teacher
I had never changed a diaper prior to having my own baby so as you can imagine, my learning curve felt extremely steep. BUT as it turns out, our babies are incredible teachers. They are smart, intuitive and naturally assertive, and once I was able to get out of my own way and learned that if I followed my baby’s queues and really listened, I could satisfy her needs better.
2. Connect with new moms
Nothing has calmed my nerves and relinquished my insecurities more so than connecting with other moms. Whether that’s been with friends, strangers, other moms in class or family, knowing that whatever I or the baby is experiencing is totally normal puts me at ease. I’m on the third session of our mommy and me course offering and have no plan to give it up because even when something is talked about and it doesn’t pertain to me in that moment, it inevitably does in some way and I feel armed with information. If I could give any new mom advice, it’s to go to classes OR create your own group with friends and neighbors. It has taken a lot of the guessing out for me.
3. Talk with your partner
It’s easy to get in your head about things, especially if you’re alone with the baby a lot. If I’m feeling unsure or insecure about how I do something, chatting it through with my husband usually makes me feel better. He either puts my concerns to rest by assuring me that the way I handle or tackle something is great OR he gives me honest, constructive feedback on how I can adjust to do something better – which ultimately results in feeling more confident.
4. Get a little distance
It’s easy to get DEEP into mom life which can make it easy to obsess over the little things. I find that working out, going out with my girlfriends or taking me time by getting a facial or a massage resets my energy and helps bring clarity to whatever it is that I’m second guessing. Sometimes, just like anything in life, it’s just about needing some distance from the situation.
5. Go easy on yourself
I’m my harshest critic and can be really tough on myself, but when it comes to motherhood, I try to take it easy on myself. I don’t want to pick myself apart for my mental health, but also to set a good example for my little one. If I’m feeling insecure, I practice being kind to myself and remind myself that I’m doing the best I can.
What about you? How do you overcome insecurities?
Love your posts 😉
Xo you are a wonderful mother
Thank you so much for this very honest post on the insecurities as Mom and mechanisms to cope with.
This is a conversation that I feel should be more frequent and would help us all moms if we talk and share these feelings. Rather then “living” them in isolation which just increases the fears. These are all so natural and talking about it would also help us deal with them in a lighter, healthier way.
I’m not a mom butI also read your posts about motherhood
Thank you for always being honest, even when it’s a vulnerable topic.