Before I get into the “hate” here, I want to start by saying that blogging has SO many perks and I am so grateful that it is a part of my job. I’ve met incredible people, am afforded unbelievable opportunities, have tons of perks and lots of freedom. But like any job, it has its challenges. I don’t often share the challenges (nor do other bloggers that I see) because it doesn’t always make for the glossiest content, but I don’t want to feel like I can’t get real with you guys and my platform. Plus, it’s a side of things that from a follower or consumer’s perspective might go unnoticed – and I thought it was a good reminder no matter your job.

So what am I currently hating within the blogging industry? Exclusivity and inclusiveness.

It can often feel like the blogging world is all about who is following who or at what dinner or on what trip or gifted what by which brand or working with which brand, etc. And because it’s all so public, which is a very unique aspect of this job, feelings are constantly being hurt within the industry. Mine included.

It is all so trivial and at the end of the day, it truly doesn’t matter BUT I wanted to write about it because inclusion or exclusion is something we all experience – at every age, at every stage of life, in so many different circumstances. The best we all can do is to try and be mindful about it. Mindful both of how we may make others feel when leaving them out, even unintentionally, and mindful of how we internalize our feelings about being left out. Mindful that different people are sensitive to different things and might not always feel the way you do, or the way you meant to portray something.

I’ve been really focused on the ladder my whole career, and what I’m coming to realize is that so much of what it boils down to is confidence. I found that when I’m not included I can start to feel insecure – why am I not good enough for ‘insert x?’ And when I feel insecure I start comparing myself and it’s a spiral. But the truth is, I don’t need to be invited to or followed by or gifted a single thing to feel validated. Yes, it certainly feels good to be included, but when I’m not, I try to remind myself that it doesn’t make me any less than. And beyond that, I try not to let it get me down because there are so many variables that go into including or excluding. Not being included isn’t necessarily a reflection of how people may feel about you, and more often than not, it’s innocent and not ill-intent.

Next time you feel left out or less than because of it, I hope this article pops up in your mind. I’ll be right there alongside you, remembering that my worth isn’t measured by invites or presents or followers. Neither is yours.